Heero and the Orange Juice Man
by xxPinkyxx
Summary: Heero's hit in the head with a football and starts acting...well...unHeero like, ok, that's an understatement. R&R u little hippoes you!
1. Heero goes insane

Heero and the Orange Juice Man  
Part 1  
Day 1 of Heero's Insanity: You'd never think Heero would act like that.........  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Yes, thats right. I do not own Gundam Wing. So don't sue me! Just thought I'd get that cleared up  
  
warning: Um...For those of you who like Heero, he is um...a little...um...not himself in this fic. I like Heero too, its just that...well....He's nutso in this fic. Please don't yell at me tho. Cuz I have nothing against him. I just thought I would have fun with him!  
  
  
  
It was a beautiful fall day in October. The 5 gundam pilots were outside, playing football. Well, Duo was trying to teach them how to play. I wouldn't say he was very successful, considering, no one really knew what they were doing. Anywho, Duo had the ball and was gonna throw it to Heero. Heero wasn't looking. He was staring at a cloud, which he thought looked like an elephant. (you see, Heero hasn't been him self lately. He kinda had too much caffeine a while back. It effected him...alot) Duo threw the ball, watched it fly through the air, then BAM!, land on Heero's head. Heero fell to the ground and just laid there with a little smile on his face as little Wing Zeroes danced around his head.   
"Uh........Heero....you okay man?" Duo asked as he leaned over him. Heero just kept smiling. The other pilots gathered around Heero. "Is he gonna be okay?" Trowa asked. Heero slowly sat up. He was still smiling. He glanced at the others, a look of insanity in his eyes. Suddenly he got up and started running around in circles.  
"I'm a little duck! QUACK QUACK QUACK!" He shouted as he ran around in around.   
"Uh oh...." Duo looked at the others. "I think the bump on the head did some damage"   
"What are we gonna do?" Quatre asked. They all sat and thought.   
"I think we should just wait and see if he goes back to normal" Wufei said. "And if he doesn't, then we'll have to send him to Jamestown(town in North Dakota that has an insane asylum in it). The others nodded in agreement. Quatre and Duo took hold of Heero and dragged him back into the house, while he was still quacking.   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
When they were back in the house, Heero had stopped quacking. Now he was singing I'm a little tea cup. Quatre and Duo led Heero into the livingroom. They sat him down on the couch and slowly backed away from him, just in case he suddenly jumped up or something. Heero had stopped singing and was quiet. He just looked back and forth, from Quatre to Duo, then from Duo to Quatre, with his little smile still on his face. Quatre and Duo were getting nervous. Heero just sat there and looked at them. He wasn't saying anything. Still smiling. It was like this for about 10 minutes. Then, Heero jumped up suddenly and yelled, "BUBBLES!!" He pulled out a bottle of bubble solution from no where (spandex space!) and began to blow bubbles.  
"Pretty, pretty bubbles" He said as he popped a couple. "Buh-bye pretty, pretty bubbles." He contuined with this for about a half an hour, blowing bubbles, then popping them. The others had left the living room, leaving Heero with his pretty bubbles. Heero got quiet again after half and hour of popping bubbles. He sat back down on the couch and just stared into to space. Trowa walked in to check on Heero. Heero looked at Trowa as he entered the room and stared at him. He stared at him for 5 minutes. Then he suddenly jumped up.  
"I am Sailor Moon, and in the name of the moon, I shall punish you!" He got into one of Sailor Moon's poses. "I fight for love, I fight for justice" He said. "Back away you evil person you, or I shall have to punish you in the name of the moon!" Trowa backed away slowly and became very scared. He thought he'd never see the day when Heero Yuy thought he was Sailor Moon (neither did anyone else until I came along :D........) Heero pulled out a little moon wand from no where (Spandex space!!) and began to twirl it around in his hands   
"Moon.....Rainbow....Heart....Ache!" He shouted as he landed in the ending pose of that attack (can you just imagine that? thats really funny!) Trowa just stared at him.   
"Heero, I think we should get you some help." He said as he back away towards the door. Heero smiled evilly and lunged toward him.  
"I do not need help! For I am Sailor Moon! Fighter for Love and Justice!"   
Trowa screamed and zoomed out the door. Heero stared after him. "I have defeated the evil person!! I am triumphant! Sailor Moon has saved the day once again! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Heero did a little happy dance around the room. "I won, I won, da da da da da, I won!" He skipped and hopped around the room. Then he stopped and sat back down on the couch again. He became quiet and stared into space again. The 4 other pilots sneaked into the living room to see if he was still Sailor Moon, but he just sitting and staring. He looked at the others as they walked in and stared at them.  
"Is he gonna spaz again?" Duo asked.  
"I hope not. He really freaked me out when he was Sailor Moon." Trowa said. Heero stared at the other pilots for 5 minutes, then jumped up, walked over to Wufei, grabbed each of his cheeks, and said "Well, aren't you the cutest little thing you little wubby wubby." He tweeked his cheeks. Wufei pulled Heero's hands of his face and backed away.   
"Don't touch me!" He said. Heero walked up to him again.   
"Ah, is Wubby Wubby in a bad mood?" He asked as he patted Wufei in the head. "I think someone needs to take a nap." Heero dragged Wufei over to the couch and laid him down. "Now its time for beddy bye! Close your eyes and go to sleep." Heero pulled a blanket over Wufei's Head.  
"But I don't want to take a nap now. Yuy! Snap out of it." Wufei shouted as he pulled the blanket off his head.  
"Does Wubby Wubby need a lullaby sung to him?" Heero looked at Wufei and began to sing. "Rock-a-bye Baby, in the tree top. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock." Heero sang the rest of the song and looked at Wufei to see if he really was asleep, and suprisingly, he was! Yes, Heero had sung Wufei to sleep. Now Wufei was snoring softly. "Wubby Wubby go nighty night!" Heero said happily. He sat down on a chair and was quiet again. It was about 8:30 p.m. and Heero was awfully tired so he fell asleep.  
"Lets put him in his room now." Duo whispered. Duo, Quatre, and Trowa carried Heero up to his room and plopped him on his bed. They all sighed with relief. "Thank God he is asleep," Trowa said. "He was getting mighty scary."  
"Maybe we should take him to Jamestown now," Quatre suggested.  
"No, we should wait another day. Maybe he will be back to his normal self in the morning" Trowa said.  
"Hopefully...." Duo whispered. They all went to their rooms and went to sleep. They left Wufei where he was, since he looked so comfortable.   
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Goin' to jamestown

PART 2  
Day 2 of Heero's Insanity:The Trip to Jamestown  
  
disclaimer: Once again..I do not own Gundam Wing! So dun't sue me please!  
  
  
  
Then next day Quatre woke up bright and early so he could make some breakfast for the others. He was usually up before everyone else in the morning, but to his suprise...Heero was in the kitchen pouring himself a bowl of cereal. "Hey heero, watcha doing up so early?"Quatre asked.   
Heero turned around. He had whipped cream all over face. "I MUST FEED THE CRAZY BIRDIES!!" Quatre looked at him and sighed. Heero hadn't gone back to normal. I guess we take him to Jamestown today. Quatre thought. Trowa walked into the kitchen. It was his turn to help Quatre make breakfast. He saw Heero standing there with whipped cream all over is face and sighed."oh man..."   
Quatre nodded. "He's gonna go to Jamestown today."  
"Good", Trowa said. "He is freakin me out"  
Heero walked over to the sink and whiped his face off. He turned the others and grunted. "What are you looking at?" Quatre and Trowa smiled.   
"Heero! You're back" Quatre ran over to Heero and huggled him. Heero grunted again and pushed him away. "What do you mean I'm back? I've always been here."   
Quatre just smiled. "Now we don't have to take you to jamestown!"  
Heero got confused. "Jamestown? Why would I have to go to Jamestown?"   
"Oh, nevermind Heero! I'm just so happy your back to normal!" Quatre smiled and got breakfast started.   
"You know Heero, when you thought you were Sailor Moon, you got me soooo scared" Trowa said as he sat down and started to mix pan cake mix. Heero looked at Trowa with a confused look on his face. "What? What are you talking about? I never thought I was Sailor Moon." Trowa started to laugh.   
"What are you laughing at?" Heero asked angrily.   
"Oh, nothing...." Trowa continued with the pancakes. Heero left the room really confused.  
  
Breakfast........  
  
"Hey, someone pass me the pancakes!" Duo shouted. "Come on! I'm starvin!" Heero grunted and passed him the plate of pancakes. Duo grabbed about 6 and poured tons of syrup on them.  
"Its a good thing Trowa made so many pancakes, or Maxwell here would of ate them all" Wufei said as he grabbed a pancake.  
"I wuv pancakes!" Duo said with his mouthful.   
"Don't talk with your mouth full Maxwell." Wufei said annoyingly. "Food flys out all over."   
Duo smiled and swallowed his food. "Whatever you say Wubby Wubby!"  
"SHUT UP!" Wufei shouted. "ITS WUFEI!!!"   
"Who came up with the name Wubby Wubby?" Heero asked. Wufei turned to Heero and glared at him. "You did!" Heero looked at him with a confused look. (if ya can't tell, Heero's just a little confused.....)   
"I did?" Heero asked.  
"Yes!" Wufei shouted. Heero got even more confused. He decided to just eat so he didn't get anymore confused then he already was.   
The rest of breakfast went on without anymore shouting. Wufei did threaten to shove a fork down Duo's throat...but otherwise all went well. After breakfast, Duo suggested that they play a little basketball.   
Out on the Basketball courts, the 2 on 2 game had started. It was Quatre and Duo against Trowa and Heero. Wufei, who thinks basketball is for weaklings, was made referee.   
"Alright!" shouted Duo as he made a basket. "We just might catch up to them cuz now its 2 to 20!" Duo did a little happy dance as Heero and Trowa rolled their eyes. Heero had the ball now and was dribbling it down the court to make a basket. He threw the basket in the hoop, and Whoosh he made a basket. He watched the basket ball go through the hoop and suddenly his eyes got all glassy. Trowa, Quatre, and Duo watched as Heero climbed up the basketball pole and sat in the basket.  
"Look guys! I made a basket!" Heero said smiling, swinging his feet. Trowas mouth dropped and he smacked himself in the head. Duo plopped on the ground and Quatre sighed. Wufei smacked himself in the head to and ran away, in case he was called Wubby Wubby again. "I'm a basketball! Look at me! I'm a basketball!"   
"Heero, get down from there!" Trowa shouted. "You could get hurt ya know!" Heero looked down at Trowa. "I am a basketball! I am supposed to be in the Basketball hoop!" Trowa sighed and looked at Quatre and Duo "How are we supposed to get him down from there?" Quatre and Duo shrugged. Heero started singing about being a basketball.  
"Dang, I thought it was over! Why did he have to go back to being insane?" Duo asked. Suddenly, Trowa got an idea.  
"Hey Heero, you'd better get down from there so we can take you to the basketball repair shop" Trowa shouted at Heero. Heero looked down at him confused.  
"Why do I hafta go to the basketball repair shop?" Heero asked.  
"Cuz basketballs just don't sit in the hoop, they go through the hoop. There must be something wrong with you then." Trowa said.  
"Oh no! Then you must take me to the basketball repair shop immediately!" Heero jumped down from the basketball hoop and jumped over to Trowa. "lets go so I can get fixed!" Quatre and Duo smiled at Trowa for getting Heero down from the basketball hoop.   
"Good going Tro-man!" Duo said. Trowa smiled and led Heero to the car. "Now we take him to Jamestown." Trowa Quatre, and Duo led Heero to the car. Wufei came running out from the house to see what was going on.  
"Good. He's going to Jamestown. Never thought Yuy here would ever be the one to crack like that." Wufei said as the 5 gundam pilots piled into the car.   
  
On the road......  
  
Trowa was given the job of driving, and Heero sat in the front seat. He had to be buckled in really good becuz he wouldn't stop bouncing. (basketballs bounce, he has to bounce too since he is a basketball) Quatre, Duo and Wufei sat in the back seat. Quatre had to sit in the middle of Duo and Wufei, so they wouldn't kill each other (okay, so Duo wouldn't kill Wufei since Duo just likes to bug Wufei).Duo started to sing his favorite song, Kitto Okay really loud.  
"Its gonna be okay....." Duo sang as he bounced up and down. Wufei glared at Duo.   
"Would ya shut up Maxwell, Yer giving me a headache!" Wufei said. Duo stuck his toungue out a Wufei and kept on singing. Wufei glared at him again and muttered threats under his breathe. Quatre sighed and continued to read his comic books that he had brought along. "Yay! Mega Man saves the day again!" Quatre said. Wufei turned to look at Quatre. "Doesn't he save the day all the time?" He asked.  
"Yes, but its still such a suprise at the end!" Quatre said happily as he started to read another comic.   
In the front seat, Heero had started to talk to himself. He no longer thought he was a basketball. Now he thinks that he is 2 different people. Their names were Mrs Hugglesmith and Mr Cikmienutts. He had a 20 minute long conversation with himself(er...with mrs hugglesmith and mr cikmienutts) before finally driving Trowa nuts. Finally Trowa couldn't stand it anymore and shouted "Shut up Heero!" Heero looked at him and his eyes got all big and watery.  
"I'm sowwy....." he said as he looked all sad. Trowa sighed and patted Heero's head.  
"I'm sorry too Heero" Heero smiled and continued on with his conversation. Trowa sighed again and continued driving. Finally he saw Jamestown up ahead. Allright Heero, he thought. Its time for you to visit the doctor.  
  
  
  
  



	3. Orange Juice Man

*~*~*~*~*Heero and The Orange Juice Man*~*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*Part 3*~*~*~*

*~*~*Heero meets Yoko, the Orange Juice Man*~*~*

*~*by Pinky*~*

Disclaimer: I dun't own Gundam Wing! Dun't sue! Pwease!

            Trowa pulled into the parking lot of the Jamestown Institute for the Mentally Ill (i made the name up) and everyone got out. Heero jumped out of the car and started to bounce on one foot. Quatre looked at Heero oddly and Heero stopped jumping and and put his arms out and began to pretend he was an airplane.

            "WHOOOOOOOOSH!" Heero said as he "flew" around the others. Duo started to laugh and Wufei grumbled.

            "This is not normal!" Wufei grumbled. "This is..is...Injustice!" The others led Heero the airplane into the building to check him in.

            Trowa walked up to the front desk. "Excuse me, but I am here to check in Heero Yuy" he said. The lady at the front desk smiled. "And you are Heero?" she asked. Trowa looked at her and glared.

            "Do I look like I need mental help?" He asked. The lady stopped smiling.

            "Oh, excuse me, I just thought that..well..I mean...you seem to be alone and well..your hair..its well..not exactly normal" She stammered. Trowa glared more ((:::smacks front desk lady::: I like his hair!)) "Whats wrong with my hair?!" He asked angrily. The lady opened her mouth to answer, but just then Duo, Quatre, Heero, and Wufei came up behind Trowa. Heero was puffing up his cheeks and boucing around. Duo had to hold him to make sure he didn't bounce out of there. Trowa pointed to Heero. "This guy is Heero." he said.

            "Oh, please take Heero to this room to meet with his doctor and thats where he will get a room" They left the stuupid front desk lady and led Heero to the room.

            "Hello Heero!" The Doctor said as the 5 GW boys walked into the room. He put out his hands toward Trowa. "So glad your here so we can help you with your sickness." The doctor smiled. "My name is Doctor Shinacki" Trowa looked at the hand and then looked back up at the doctor.

            "My name is Trowa." Trowa said and he pointed towards Heero. "This guy is Heero Yuy, the one who needs the help." The doctor stopped smiling at Trowa.

            "oh my, I'm sorry. Its just that your hair looked...." the doctor said.

            "MY HAIR LOOKS FINE!!" Trowa shouted as he plopped in a chair.

            "Oh dear, I am sorry." The doctor walked towards Heero. "You are Heero then I guess" The doctor held out his hand towards Heero. Heero stared at the hand then stuck some chewed up bubble gum in it. Then he looked back up at the doctor and smiled. The doctor stared at his hand. "I see...well, Heero. Follow me. I will show you to your room." The doctor took the gum off of his hand and led the GW boys to Heero's room. His room was number 234 at the end of a long hallway. The doctor opened the door with his keys and led Heero and the others in. The room was a plain white room with cushy carpet and padded walls. A bed was against a wall. There was a small bathroom attached to the room and one small window, with bars, near the ceiling. 

            "Well Heero, this looks like your new home!" Trowa said as he plopped Heero's suitcase on the floor. Heero walked in slowly and looked around. Then he got on the bed and started jumping up and down. Duo took the doctor aside.

             "Hey doc, ya make sure that he doesn't get into any sugar ok? He goes nutso if he has even a little. And let him blow bubbles too. He loooooooves those bubbles." The doctor nodded. 

            "Okay guys" Doctor Shinaki said to the others. "Its time for you to leave. Say good bye to Heero now!" Doc Shinaki shooed the others out of Heero's room quickly as they shouted their good byes.The Doc Shinacki smiled evilly as soon as they were gone. Heero watched as they left.

            "Hey, where they go now? Where my bud buds go?" Heero asked Doc Shinaki.

            "Well, I'm sorry, but you probably won't see them for a while Heero. Now come on..lets meet your new neighbors." The doc lead Heero out of his room. "Your first neighbor your going to meet is Yokorohoshiya(made up name!) Now, Yokorohoshiya here, is a very special person. When you meet him, you'll see why he is so special" The doc knocked on the door to room number 232. A tall, skinny very upright guy with shaggy brown hair answered the door. "What do ya want?" He asked.

            "Well hello Yokorohoshiya!" the doc said. "I'd like you to meet Heero. He's your new neighbor." Heero held out his hand to Yokorohoshiya.

            "Hello Heero! You can call me Yoko! Nice ta meetchya!" Yoko shook Heero's hand very carefully. Heero smiled and said "How do ya do? I am fine!" Then he poked Yoko in the stomach. Yoko screamed and stepped back.

            "Don't touch me! I might spill!" Yoko said as he stood completely still. Heero stared at Yoko. 

            "Um...okay" Heero walked into Yoko's room and looked around. It looked exactly like his room. "hmm...nice place ya got here Yoko." Heero said as he sat on Yoko's bed. Yoko smiled. "Ya, I know. White's my favorite color." Yoko walked very stiffly toward the window.             "Hey, Yoko...why do you walk and stand so straight and stiffly, and how come yer afraid to spill?" Yoko looked at heero like Heero's should already know the answer.

            "I am a glass of Orange juice! If I spill then I will be all gone! I can't spill!" Yoko said as he stood against the wall. "Now it is time for me to take a nap" Yoko closed his eyes and started to snore softly. 

            "Alright Heero, it is time for you to go now." Doc Shinacki said as he pushed Heero out of the room. "You should take yer nap too" Heero went into his room and sat on his bed.

            "You can meet your other neighbors after your nap." Heero layed on his bed and waited for Doc Shinacki to leave the room. As soon as the doc was gone Heero got up and went to his door, which was locked.

            "Aw schmuck buckets!" Heero said as he tried to open the door. Then he took a hairpin out of his hair (it's necessary to keep one for emergencies) and picked the lock. (stuupid hospital people made the doors lock from the inside)  He opened the door and walked down the hall toward the front desk. The ((stoopid!)) front desk lady was filing her nails when she saw Heero.

            "Well hello there!" She smiled at him. Heero glared at her. 

            "Excuse me, but could you tell me where I am?" The front desk lady continued to smile. "Well, you are...at a carnival and the rides are down the hall to your right." Heero skipped down the hall and went to the right. He entered a room that was empty except a big table that was covered in blood. (::shivers:: the horror!) in the middle of the table was a used scalpal (EWWY!) and bits of flesh (AAHH!!) Heero walked slowly to the table, picked up the scalpal, stared at it, then skipped out fo the room carrying the scalpal. Across from that (evil) room was another room. It was the kitchen. Inside the kitchen was a HUMUNGO! fridge and some cupboards. Heero skipped into the kitchen and dug in the fridge and found a ham. He took the ham out and skipped out of the kitchen.  He skipped back to the lobby and plopped the ham on the front desk. The (extremely dumb and idiotic) front desk lady stared at the ham.

            "Um, Excuse me but where did that come from?" she asked as she stared at it. Heero just smiled at her. He pulled the scalpal out of nowhere (SPANDEX SPACE!!!) and stabbed the ham with it.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!" The front desk lady screamed and passed out. (now why'd she do that? really now.....its just a ham...and a bloody scalpal geeeez) Heero looked at her funny (liked this~~~~~o.O) and picked up the ham and went behind the desk. He went digging through drawers looking for bubbles (that mean doc shiinacki took his bubbles away!) when a woman with a young man walked up to the desk. 

            "Um, excuse me young man, but could you help me? I need to check in my son. His name is Georgey. Could you check on the computer to see where we're supposed to go?"  

            "Sure!" Heero said as he typed somethings into the computer. He didn't really know what he was typing...but thats always okay. "Alright. you must go down the hall and to your right, there you will find a big empty room with a table. The doctor will be waiting for you there." Heero said. He smiled nicely at them as they thanked him and walked down the hall and to the right. Heero was getting tired, so he picked up the ham again and went back to his room.

            Heero opened his door and set the ham in the middle of the floor. " Alright little ham, I think I'll name you, MrHam!" Heero put a blanket of MrHam and climbed in his bed for his nap.

A/N: YEs, I was looking through a disk and I found this chapter. I wrote it a long time ago. I thought I might as well add to the stupidity of this fic. Anyways, you can go review now.

Ja!

Pinky


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